I understand the risk, but I want to go out and have fun, too. I know it looks bad for my image to be hanging out with a bunch of adults, mostly men, but being around other women, and girls my age, the atmosphere is too tense and competetive. We'd be fighting for attention and stabbing each other in the back. I know that my friends from school whisper about me. I know if there was some girl in my class who had gotten a contract with Sony I would probably treat her badly too, maybe not because I hated her but that's how everyone else acted.
They keep telling me I need to make sacrifices for my work. I'm fine with that, but I want to be myself, too. I want to make friends. It's one thing to be likes because you have a cute image, but it's another to be liked because you're a nice, friendly person. I shouldn't have to sacrifice one for the other... should I?
So I really got in trouble for attending the Buck-Tick party. I was found out, and I got read the riot act by my manager. Then my parents, first together then once each privately. I'm embarrassed more than I'm mad. I know they're just looking out for me. It would be a scandal if people thought I was hanging around people like Buck-Tick and Luna Sea. They would want to know what I could possibly have to do with men the age of my father. They would assume it is inappropriate, and that would signal baibai Nami, the sweet schoolgirl next girl, everyone's little sister, even if most of the people who go to her concerts go to see her abnormally flat chest rather than hear her voice or see her practiced dance moves.